We lost our brother last weekend. Michael was always at war with the universe, but he was also funny and insightful and fiercely loyal. There is a big, big hole in the world where he used to be.
When Patrick and I got married, Patrick's bachelor party started out at another party at our friend Eli's house. A girl there was griping to the bartender that she couldn't believe that Patrick was marrying me. She went on for quite a long time about how I wasn't pretty enough or smart enough for Patrick and she really thought he could do better. Patrick's friend Kim walked up and was horrified. He said, "Do you know who you're talking to? That's Em's brother." The girl was terribly embarrassed to discover that the bartender she'd been complaining to for the past half hour was my brother, but Mikey just smiled his Cheshire cat grin at her and said, "That's okay, girl, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But just so you know I'd throw myself in front of a train for that woman." And he would have.
Mikey and Eli were very different people, but they were best friends. I think the Brotherhood/Sisterhood camp they attended really brought them together in a profound way. Patrick Delaney was also very dear to him. I wish I had a good picture of the two of them together. I am naturally very introverted and it occured to me that, either directly or indirectly, I owe many of the people I love in this world to Mikey. He always knew how to get me out of my shell and out into the world.
Anyone who knew Mikey knew that he loved music. Here he is dancing around and being goofy with some friends of his from Penny Lane Records. Record stores were a refuge for him his whole life. Even when Patrick and I went to visit him in the hospital, he asked us to bring him to Amoeba.
Bell and Mikey and Eli. This picture pretty much sums up the early 90's for me, Bell wearing something scandalous, Mikey being loving and protective and Eli looking amused.
Mikey and Patrick didn't always have the easiest relationship. I'm not sure Michael would have ever thought anyone was good enough for me, but I'm very glad that he and Patrick had moments like this where they really connected. When Mikey lived with us in Highland Park, I used to come home to find the two of them talking about music for hours.
Bell and Mikey were kindred spirits - both a little too fearless for their own good. I've had more worry in my life because of Bell and Michael than pretty much anyone else, but I've also had more fun because of them. I feel so lucky to have had both of them in my life.
This picture was taken at a benefit concert Michael arranged for Homeboy Industries when they were first getting started. If he believed passionately in something, Michael could do amazing things. This ended up being a fairly large event with media coverage and a big crowd. When Michael was homeless, he also organized an unofficial company through craigslist where he would get other homeless people odd jobs here and there painting houses and cleaning gutters and such. A lot of his fellow-homeless people were very grateful to Michael for giving them the chance to contribute. A couple of them wrote to me when Michael was in the hospital.
Patrick giving Mikey the rings for our wedding. Mikey told me recently that he was really touched by what a great dad Patrick has become. Michael wasn't in a good place the last time he came to visit us, but he always loved kids and he and Finn really hit it off. Mikey used to call him Philly. I so wish Mikey could have met Jack. They would definitely have been partners in crime.
This was from a trip up To San Francisco to visit Michael and Damon and the boys. This was from a really good period in Michael's life. He was so proud of his brothers and truly loved San Francisco. We walked all over the city this day from sun up to sundown. I will always be grateful to his step father Damon for taking Mikey in during that time. I wish I had more pictures of Michael's family. He loved his sister Rohana and his step-mother Mary with all his heart. He missed his lovely mom Dominique so much and he had a great deal of love and respect for his father Renardo. They really reconnected with each other during Michael's time in the hospital and he mentioned how much their talks meant to him many times during our phone calls. Mikey also loved my Mom and Dad a lot, even though he didn't always have an easy relationship with my Dad. Of course, the person Michael loved most was his son Alex. When Alex was little, Michael used to call me and put Alex on the phone while he took him on long walks. I know that he had great sorrow about letting Alex down and he hoped to one day get his life together enough to be a father to him again.
The two funniest people I know making each other laugh like mad.
Another picture from our perfect day. I hope somehow, somewhere he knows how much I miss him already. I loved him so, so much.
1 comment:
I feel a hole in my heart that could only be filled by that Cheshire grin of his. I miss him and love him so much. I hope that he has found some peace, and I hope he knows how very loved he is. My sweet soul, always fighting whatever the world had to throw your way. You would make a joke through a mouthful of blood. I never knew anyone like you, and I miss you so much. I miss your slow, sideways grin that always lit up those sparkling eyes of yours, your cutting insight, your wicked sense of humor and timing, your exagerated, exasperated sighs when someone was bothering you. I miss your easy laugh and your effortless ease in meeting ANYONE new. I miss being able to hug you. I miss your face. In the words of James Taylor, I always thought that I'd see you again. I love you, little brother. I love you so much.
Post a Comment