My Grandma Barbie passed away last week and the memorial was held for her this Wednesday at her son (my uncle) Rick's house in Oceanside. My grandma was a passionate, angry, smart, caring, and beautiful woman who had her share of hard times, but seemed to finally find her destiny within her family. Surely one of her greatest accomplishments was raising a brace of children, including most of her daughter's children, in the face of many challenges. Her later years were filled with triumphs as her grandchildren that lived with her won awards, went to college, and got married. She was probably as busy as anyone at her age could possibly be, and we didn't see her that much. But I remember when, as the first grandchild, I spent many hours with her reading our tarot card fortunes in Los Feliz, walking to the House of Pies, and helping her organize the audio-visual department at Immaculate Heart college.
It was at Immaculate Heart that she showed me how to draw dragon fire and let me take (steal?) the greatest headsets that I've ever seen for the spaceship in our garage. No one did more for me then. Twenty years later she broke into an expert swing dance at our Christmas party, and I realized that there was a lot that I didn't know about her. Her hero was Martha Stewart who, it seems, also tried to make the best of a messy world. During her memorial, a slideshow played on the television of pictures of her life, and I was amazed at how much of it was a complete mystery to me. I wish that she could have been there to explain it. May you rest in the peace of the Lord, Grandma Barbie. With love, Patrick.
5 comments:
I still miss my grandma every day, and wonder about all of the things about her I didn't know - especially lookng through old photos - you can kind of catch a glimpse into a world that existed completely outside of your frame of reference. Just think about everything YOU did before Finn and Jack were ever even thought of.
Well said Bell, that's so true!
That was a wonderful entry, my love and I absolutely adore that picture of you with your grandma. I think you're right - I think she was really proud and grateful for how well all of her grandchildren turned out and for the role that she got to play in all of your lives.
Do you remember that scene in Billy Elliot where Billy lets his dance instructor read the letter his Mom wrote and it was such a wonderful touching letter that it made his teacher cry. She tells him that his Mom must have been a really special person and he shrugs and say, "She was just my mum." I think if we're very lucky we get to grow up and know our parents a little bit as peers and adults - and if we're very, very lucky, we get to glimpse our grandparents as full, rich human begins, but more often than not, they remain a beautiful, shining, sometimes painful mystery to us.
Dear Patrick, Your Grandma is so very proud of you and Em and how you have become the people and parents that she hoped for. In a parallel way, your blog reminded me that your experience with Grandma was in many ways a mystery to me. Thank you for taking the time and care to share these wonderful thoughts with all of us. Love Mom
Thanks Mom!
Love,
Patrick
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